Animal Psychology

Have you ever seen the movie, "A Beautiful Mind"? There is a part where the main character, John Nash, played by Russell Crowe, is writing on the windows, attempting to craft an algorithm that would explain the path that the pigeons in the yard below him are walking in. Of course this is where almost everyone thinks, "Wow, that guy has gone off the deep end." Well not me!

The other day, I was sitting in my house, feet up on another chair, door open to let the breeze in, reading a book (actually if you ever come to my house, this pretty much how you'll always find me) when it occurred to me. "I'd really like to study the psychology of animals." Now I know you're probably thinking, "Wow, Pat's gone off the deep end," or "What the hell is he on, and where can I get some?" (Its called mephaquin, and its great!) But not so fast. Bear with now. My neighbors have chickens that are pretty much free range, and since my and my other neighbor's house is pretty much the only game in town, when it comes to throwing trash (no trash service sadly), the chickens are pretty much around my house constantly. I therefore have a source of constant study, and, when it comes down to it, entertainment.

Take for instance the other day. I was watching one chicken as she was attempting to forage for food. She had no small chicks of her own, she didn't have to care for anyone else but herself. Yet another juvenile chicken was constantly shadowing this other hen. You could tell that this was not a chicken that this hen had hatched (chickens tend to have the same pattern as their parents I have found; I once saw some purple chickens, and thought that Willy Wanka had set up shop in my area, but I digress) yet, every time this hen would bend down to peck at something, this younger hen would instantly be all up in this poor hen's bidness, crowding her out, taking what the first hen had rightfully found. This went on for about 30 minutes (probably all day, but my American attention span has only double here in Kenya) and the whole time I'm thinking, "Why doesn't she react like Phil used to, when I was constantly all up in his bidness, and peck her, or chase her or do something!!??" Maybe I want my animal psychology to take on human characteristics, but then this is why this is such a crucial field that needs to be addressed, so that such confusion can be cleared up.

Another aspect that I find worthy of study (i.e. wildly entertaining) is chicken sex. (That's right, I'm talking about chicken sex!) Its hilarious. First, the cock (and seriously, the reason that so many proud, male related aspects of life have taken this term of description (see cockpit, cocking a pistol, cocktails, shuttlecock, etc.) has been made instantly clear to me over here) begins by chasing a hen. This can take anywhere from 5 seconds to 5 minutes or more, and 5 feet to 50 yards of running. When he finally catches her and tackles, and bites (I have no other word to describe what he does) the back of her neck and holds her. He then takes the (oh so very brief) opportunity (or four) afforded to him to try to plant his seed. He then hops off, puffs himself up, flaps his wings, stretches his neck and emits a crow that Peter Pan would envy. Meanwhile the hens picks herself up, puffs up really quick to get rid of any ruffles, dust or feathers that aren't her own, and to settle and smooth her feathers, and quickly walks away as though nothing had happen, much in the same way I would imagine a sexy 60s stewardess would, as she leaves the cockpit or a plane. Again, maybe I'm just anthropomorphizing the chickens actions, and this is something that needs clearing up.

Take for instance the fact that there is the chickens' commitment to rituals. Everyday, at exactly 7:20am, the same rooster crows outside my window, a window that I might add, I have my head directly under. Now the chicken obviously has no dog psychology to it, because if it did, it would not be under my window everyday, but instead would remember all the rocks that I have hit it with (actually, I'm pretty impressed with my aim. You have no idea how difficult a target a running chicken is at 25 yards,) much as a dog remembers being swatted with a newspaper when it pees on the rug. Clearly, this cock, much like a human is out to prove something; as am I (Once I can convince my neighbor that its only worth 200 shillings and not 500, I'm out to prove that that rooster is delicious.) Again, we must learn how to differentiate between human psychology and animal psychology. There are many many aspects that I could ruminate on such as chicken fights, cows obstinately refusing to get out of the way or baby goats (don't even get me started on baby goats, I could go on for hours about baby goats, and how they'll play king of the hill on a palm tree stump (so awesome) or how they skip and jump when let out of a pen, much like a kindergarten let out of school.)

I hope I've cleared up some of your pressing questions, and shed a little light on a need in our society, and the necessity of a new field of study.